Good morning/afternoon to you all, and...

...HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Much to talk about, but I'll have to wait until later. Just as the turkey and graving is settling in, maybe.

I am thankful today, as I am every day. But today, let's all be thankful together...kay?

Good morning! to the blog community...

...on this intensely cold, cold Sunday morning. I have been awake for about an hour, but my real preparation for this morning began about 6 months ago.

Today, with my dear running buddy, Stephanie, I will complete my first 1/2 marathon.

I'm excited. A little nervous for some reason.

And proud.

And now I'm leaving...I'll catch you at the finish line.

I had a student tell me today...

..."Mrs. Ledbetter, I'm allergic to crayons."

Now, this comment was posed after I told her that we would be using the crayons today, instead of markers. After many of my students presented with accidental, multi-colored facial tattoos after the classroom use of markers, I had (without their knowledge) "banned" markers from my classroom until appropriate fine-motor skills could be obtained.

So...

"Mrs. Ledbetter, I'm allergic to crayons."

My answer? "You know, my love, I already asked your mom, and she said it's okay that you play with crayons."

Yes, I lie to my 5 and 6 year olds.

Her reply was a very smooth and discerning, "Well, actually, I'm only allergic to OLD crayons."

"Okay, Marissa, just do your best to only use the crayons that look new."

I have about 500 of these interactions every day. I really don't think that's an exaggeration. The development of logical thinking at this stage in life has made my job very complicated. Just yesterday morning, I had to explain to a mother why her son came home asking about autopsies.

Hey, kids have questions...I just find the journey more fun when we answer back with more questions.

I have no great reason to write at the moment...

...except that I feel at some point I must take the plunge and step back into the blogging world.

Still, I toy with the idea of just sending semi-mass emails with a blog-like voice in the expectation that more people will read it. See, I don't really just blog for myself. I started it so that I could stay connected. Mostly to my family. But, slowly, one-by-one, my family members ceased blogging. It was sort of an anti-blog epidemic. Then the summer was "busy". Then I had no internet for about a month. Then I just didn't feel like it anymore.

I still don't think I do. Yet I feel like I owe it to...someone? Who? Who cares. I'm just going to try to stay more connected. I realize that I look forward to many opportunities in the next few months to reunite with friends and family. And I don't want to feel all sorry-for-myself and lonely around the holidays because I'm too darn lazy to blog or send an email.

Well, it's not even January, but with the '08 election behind me and job prospects before me, I feel like it's time for new beginnings.

I've already begun to feel like a different person. Maybe because I've crossed over the mid-20s line and feel like I'm adjusting grip on my life with new perspective and different strength. Maybe because I'm seeing inevitable change in the future. And maybe because sometimes, you just have to feel good again.

Have you ever wondered...

...if we just laced the morning coffee of Stock Exchange traders with anti-depressants...then maybe we wouldn't be in this apparent mess?

If you do nothing else today,

on my birthday, you must check out my niece...

Oh. My. Gosh.

At the core, I am an external person...

...which means that I have to digest life in an external manner. Don't get grossed out. It just means that I have to express my life in an extroverted manner in order to fully understand it. Ask my husband... I've come to many brilliant conclusions about how I feel whilst in the very middle of a sentence.

And it's interesting how the blog world fits in to all of this.

I realized a few days ago that I hadn't spoken to anyone in my family for maybe two weeks. And while that may have been okay during my first two years of college, I had more recently begun a habit of calling my mom or sister a couple times a week "just to say hi".

So, no contact with family members for a while.

I also hadn't updated my blog in, well, almost 2 months. Since that's sort of my contact with family and some friends, I was feeling out of touch with everyone. Not only had I not updated, but I hadn't read anyone else's as well. And I'm now in that place of being so disconnected and not having the energy to reconnect.

ugh.

The speedy/boring update is that we've been in our new apartment for just over two weeks;
Kindergarten started yesterday;
John and I still haven't had a relaxing weekend since...April?;
I'm halfway through my half-marathon training and while it's getting physically harder, I'm enjoying it more and more;
John started his second year today and was just accepted to the prestigious Immigration Human Rights Clinic which will require about 20 hours a week for him to take on actual court cases;
it's been raining like crazy in San An and helping to physically and emotionally wash away the dirt of this summer;
It's dawning on me that I've lived here over a year, for whatever that's worth;
I'm really sleepy right now and would like nothing better than to eat dinner and go to sleep at 7:30.

Here's to early bedtimes...

Night, folks!

It's a funny thing when you have your hands tied...

...especially when you've learned to just work with your elbows.

"There's only so much you can do."

I love this phrase. Well, I say I love it because I must, since I use it quite frequently. I think my life is sort of ironic because I use this phrase (and the mentality that produces it) and yet I'm the sort of person that JUST WON'T QUIT. I don't. I hate quitting.

Most days.

But sometimes you just know...you just know you can't change things. I wish it didn't take me so long to get to this point before I trust that God is working. I wish that I would just let go of my need to be involved, my need to control all aspects...of everything. I find it difficult to balance trusting God and trusting my need to act.

Don't you?

And my heart breaks when I realize that my hands are tied, my elbows are sore, and I just have to LET GO and know that God is all-powerful and loving. My heart breaks because I should be thinking of this always.

But rather than dwell on this regret, I will simply (yet powerfully) be praying today. Because though there's only so much I can do...it's probably the most influential act I have in my arsenal.

My niece blew me a kiss via Skype tonight...

...said, "I love you, Aunt Pam" and then asked for a hug (putting her arms out towards the computer screen).

I just about hopped into my car and drove to Austin to give her a real hug.

Darn that girl. She yanks on my heartstrings with one little smile.

There's my nephew, too...

Let's start with my morning...

...which began with a run at 5:30. It was a great run. Probably our fastest pace. But that's good progress, since we're about to increase our time again.

Then I had a mini-meltdown before school, which led to me arriving a few minutes late, flustered and sans a speck of makeup.

2 minutes in the bathroom fixed the make-up problem and gave me time to calm the flusters.

I spent 5 seconds rearranging our field trip plans, 20 minutes packing lunches for 14 kids and 3 minutes corralling said kids into a 2-by-2 line at the door.

We spent the morning at the park, flying kites, monkeying on monkey bars and swinging as high as our feet could push. Oh yes, I hopped on the swings and monkey bars as well, and I'm pretty good with a kite.

We had a picnic lunch before walking back to school (please look both ways before crossing the street) and settling down for a nap. Wait, I didn't nap. But I did take a quick lunch break and read the text message from my hubby stating that his GPA rank in his 1L law class of 307 students is 81. Yes, 81. Top 26 percent for those unwilling to calculate.

An uneventful afternoon led to a fairly smooth transition home in which I made some dinner, cleaned the house a bit and settled in for an early bedtime. Though not before chatting with my mom and then opening the beautiful gift of Crumb Cake sent by my parents from Jersey. Oh, sweet crumb cake. (Thank you!!)

I'm hittin the sack (oh, how that phrase makes me miss my first college roommate) at 10 pm tonight.

Don't be jealous. Sometimes you just have to smile at a good day.

This morning at work began...

...with a sweet conversation with my assistant about spiritual lives and the honesty they require.

This day at work ended with a disappointing conversation with my assistant about how she may be moved from my classroom to fill a void in the pre-school room.

What am I to learn today?

As I lose a coworker, I gain a friend?

Or that despite the beauty in the people I encounter each day...some times work still sucks life.

Oh well. To bed. To wake up to a new day that God will give me.

Even though it's finals time...

...John and I managed to work in a "date night" on Saturday. It was actually somewhat of an afternoon event, as his third final finished around 3 pm, and we participated in an early dinner. Dinner was a bit of a letdown (my favorite dish was no longer on the menu), but the movie was....FABULOUS.

A HUGE enjoyment.

Gizmodo.com (John linked me to the story...) described it as "126 minutes of gadget porn". That just makes me laugh.

Ladies, if you take your male counterparts, just sneak a peek at their faces every so often. I think John could have cried.

I liked the story; I was taken in by the character; I was scared out of my seat on two occasions (I do, however, scary easy); I laughed out loud; I danced.

It's almost summer, people. Go to the movies. Go see Ironman.

It'll be fun.

For the third morning in as many weeks...

...John and I awoke to the piercing and shrill shriek of our building's unique fire alarm. A single, monotonous (though in no way boring) sound that ought to frustrate dolphins somewhere near Hawaii.

The first morning (it's been around 4 a.m. each time), John and I stumbled ridiculously around the apartment for no less than 2 minutes before I had the bright idea to turn on the lights and get my glasses. This was not before I was on the ground, plugging my ears and crying, "Turn it off! Make it stop! Why won't it stop?!"

I'm not kidding, I was a wreck.

Because this morning was our third incident, we have since developed a pattern for taking turns covering the alarm while the other gets dressed until we both wander downstairs where the noise is somewhat less deafening. Our maintenance manager, who happens to live in our building, has also figured out how to disable the alarm after about 7 minutes. Much better than the 20 that it took the first time, since we had to wait until the FD showed up.

What made this day different is that we thought the worst was over. I hate losing sleep due to vandals, but I was willing to brush it off and keep my chin up. Until John called me around 10 a.m. to confirm that my car was still in working order.

You see, it seems that our neighborhood [insert choice of crude name here, I'm trying to keep this blog clean] was feeling rather feisty this morning and pulled out a blade to slash tires. From our rusty calculation, he hit at least 20 cars. Seriously.

John lost 3 tires.

3 STINKIN tires.

Seriously.

And I'm glad that it was only material. And I'm glad that no one was hurt.

But I'm feeling a little bit naked right now.

And despite the fact that I feel much better after discussing security and building transfer options with our leasing manager for about 45 minutes tonight...I'm not ready to go to bed.

Because I just wonder how smart is this idiot? I wonder how methodical he/she is to possibly be involved with pulling a fire alarm at nearly the exact time on three separate occasions and then slashing multiple tires on nearly 2 dozen cars without anyone noticing. And I keep thinking that who's to say it won't happen again tonight. Or tomorrow.

Thankfully, I'm not afraid for my life. But boy is this inconvenient.

Today, I had a four-year-old ask me...

..."Mrs. Ledbetter? God is always watching us, right?"

"Yes, Quinn, He is."

"Then why do those things happen?"

"What things, Quinn?"

"You know, the bad things? Why does he let those happen? Like when people get hurt?"

SERIOUSLY? It's only Tuesday.

But this is reason 526 for why I love my job.

What is it about music...

...that conjures up emotions that appear deep and suspiciously superficial all at once?

It's happened before that I've been asked to create a soundtrack to my life, and yet the job has never appealed to me. It is difficult enough for me to search through old photo albums for that picture I so vaguely remember without becoming an emotional wreck of joy and sorrow as I recall the millions of moments that have created the lives of myself and those around me. To add music to those moments makes them that much more vivid and intimate. I'd be a puffy-eyed mess for days.

I've had Robbie Seay's newest album in my car, rotating through each song over and over, learning every nuance and letting it become my current soundtrack on my drive to work, yoga, SuperTarget or random social event. It brings feelings of release after a long day at work, when I've left early enough to just miss the evening traffic, instead traveling home at a brisk pace, with the windows rolled down and singing of Christ's return.

What strikes me each time I hear it are three notes in one particular song. Three notes. But the progression is eerily similar to those in a old favorite song by a band called, The Kry. Now, I've done this my whole life, I guess. But I have a tendency to run a CD into the ground by playing it over and over until I nearly forget what other music sounds like. And after I came home from my second summer of Camp Esperanza at the ripe age of 11 years and 11 months, I listened to The Kry every second I could and cried about missing my friends at camp and feeling sort of lonely for being back in a world that didn't quite understand me like this new one did.

And while I'm creating new memories and adding new songs to the 100-disc CD set that could be the soundtrack to this life, I'm so easily tossed into an old world. A world that seems very long ago, very different and set apart from the one I occupy now.

And all it takes is music. Just three notes.

I'm nearing the end of April...

...and I had a teary-eyed moment today as I watch two of my girls have a special moment, and I realized that one of them would be moving shortly. Then I realized that all of them would be moving soon...on they go to public school or a different private school or...whatever.

I was teary-eyed because I know that I will miss them dearly. I was on the edge of a full-fledge sobfest as I realized that my first year of teaching will soon come to a close.

If I can get my act together, I should be blogging soon. I am impressed with and grateful for just how much is going on in our lives right now. And maybe it's for just that reason that I went on a temporary computer-hiatus.

peace out...

My brilliant husband and his equally persuasive partner...

...(who apparently is much like me in character and wit) have managed to find themselves in the fourth round of a Moot Court tournament. John's initial response to making it past the first round? "I was furious!"

Truly.

See, he's been spending a LOT of time working on this Moot Court paper and practice and not a lot of time studying for finals. He's been stressed. But after making it past two more rounds of competition tonight, I could hear the pride in his voice on the phone. And he should be proud. Litigation is not his fancy. He's not one for confrontation and debate. But I have always known that this man is convincing when he speaks on something of which he is passionate and knowledgeable. I didn't just marry him for his money, after all.

When we jumped into this law school adventure, I knew that God had a future for John in this career. But I honestly had no idea that it would be so immediately apparent. See, with this competition, John's realizing he has a skill for something he never experienced before. And even if he doesn't enjoy the courtroom, at least he knows he could do it.

Not only that, but the biggest stressors in his life right now are that his success in Moot Court might compromise his interview on Friday for a prestigious summer internship in Austin for the Governor's office. Did someone just hear a tiny violin? Right. Even if his interview is pushed back, he's already been accepted to a July internship for a judge in Dallas. Oh, goodness, I see doors of opportunity swinging wide before us.

Is anyone reading into the fact that I'm on cloud nine?

Praise Jesus for the mercy He bestows on us that we might be blessed beyond anything we could deserve!

AMEN!

I accidentally dyed my hair black...

...and my students kept asking me yesterday, "Mrs. Ledbetter, where did your brown hair GO?" Or they'd say, "Mrs. Ledbetter, it's still black."

Yes, kids. I know. And I think I like it.

See, I'm a cheap-hair-dye-in-a-box kind of girl. Or at least I used to be. I noticed that my hair color was always fading after two weeks, so it never stayed a color that I liked.
This week, I sprang for a more expensive box. I went with dark, dark brown...as I usually do.
Thing is, now there's only one spot of brown in my hair, and that's where John somehow missed a small area. (Yes, my hubby dies my hair. And I cut his. It works.)

It's BLACK.

And I think I like it.

We're going to Driftwood/Austin today to see family and meet our 6 week old nephew. I'm thrilled to see family and I'm nervous about going to Austin.

I already know I'll love it still. I already know I"ll miss it. My chest tightens when I think about Town Lake and the gazillion wonderful things I've done there.

Who knows, maybe this week, I'll create one more memory.

Maybe I"ll compliment my black hair and semi-black fingernails with an awesome tattoo.



Nah...I don't think I'm there yet. Maybe next time.

I'm flying high on endorphins at the moment...

...and I'm gonna ride this wave until I crash into bed.

Until then, I've got two things to share with you.

One, if you've never known just how "serious" the play of a child can be, spend some time with a six year old who, at the age of four, watched her mother and baby sister die in a car accident. This was my experience on Saturday night, and I wanted desperately to play with her forever so that she stays young and honest for as long as every child should.

Two, it's quite possible that I will soon be fully addicted to yoga. The gym we'd attended had to cancel their yoga classes, but Steph and I attended a new location and participated in some pretty serious yoga tonight. We did one of my favorite poses, chataranga dandasana, about 30 times, so I'll be feeling sore in the morning. I just can't help thinking about how taboo this activity was when we were kids...and how I'll likely be one of those women in a "mommy and me" yoga class.

As I finish that sentence, my eyelids are getting heavy and my bed is beckoning.

That's the best thing about an endorphin high in the evening...it readies you for a fantastic night of sleep.

'night...

I'm not really a party person...

...but my class is having a Valentine's party this afternoon. I was excited about it this morning, but my enthusiasm is waning.

My kids have been slightly nutty all day, and I am not crazy about rewarding that behavior with a party, but...what can you do?

Sometimes 4 and 5 year olds just can't help being 4 and 5 year olds...

Sometimes I can't help that I'm not a party person.

Somedays my job is a real pain in my...

...yep, you got it. Really, it is.

Today, I had a steroid shot in my butt because I have...oh, wait, the doctor never told me.

That's right, he walked in, looked at my throat, my glands and listened to my breathing then said, "Okay, I'm going to give you a prescription for an antibiotic, a cough syrup, and we'll give you a steroid shot. Nancy will be in to do the shot."

???

Kids, though. They're just illness carriers. Little vermin. Dirty little vermin.

That said, I stayed home from work today. I'll be back tomorrow, but I'm on a slight speaking ban, which means my assistant will be in charge. I'm excited. Her extreme laziness has been making me cranky and stressed (possibly to the point of getting sick? hmmm...) but if I force her to be in charge and force myself (often harder) to LET GO, then hopefully character will be built.

One thing I've learned in the last week? My boss LOVES me. I mean, really loves me. She calls me 'darling' when she sees me, gets cranky when I'm cranky and makes strides to see that I'm happy. It's a pretty incredible thing. And one of few times in my life when I've wanted nothing more than to earn that love, instead of rebelling against the pressure that such a relationship can bring.

Something else I learned? I have pretty incredible friends. Some of us are in that phase of taking baby steps to become more vulnerable, which is quite intimidating.

Last, and absolutely not least: you may hate that I"m flying over this concept, but here goes: there were many moments in my Christian walk when I wondered what my life would be like if I hadn't grown up in a Christian home. Like many of you, I sometimes had that slight remorse that I didn't get to understand what it was like to live without God. I'm not proud to say it, but I've had a dry couple years of communication with God. I haven't loved and yearned for His Word as in the past. And you know what I've found? When we open our Bibles in church on Sunday, I'll find myself reading through an entire chapter or book, having tuned out the pastor. Not great, considering we're still church hunting (oh, gosh, that's a post for another day...), but how exciting it is to be caught up again in the beauty of God's word.

That's all I've got for today.

I kept my husband up last night with my tossing and turning (but I've got cough syrup with codeine to handle THAT tonight), and he's falling asleep on the floor right now. I have to grab a fresh box of tissues and ready our house for the week, which now has only four days left. Since I started a fever this Saturday morning and was mostly miserable all weekend, I'm counting minutes until my next weekend off. Is that bad?

What do I care? I got shot in the butt today. Leave me alone.

Please, everyone, can I have your attention...

...as I announce the arrival of my nephew, Noah Christopher Lewis! He was born Monday, January 21 at 10:16 am, weighing 8 lbs, 1.5 oz. He's gorgeous. Looks nothing like a worm.

I'll load a picture when I can figure that out.

Speaking of figuring things out...I've got lots to unload to the blogger world. As soon as I can...well...as soon as I can.

For now, let's all celebrate the fact that I am now the best Aunt in the world for the second time over!

Apparently, we have another cold front coming...

...and I haven't decided how I feel about it.

Today, it matches my mood. I feel cold, closed off and gloomy.

But it could also be that the cold has created my mood...?

It's unclear right now.

I do know that I will RUN from this building at 4:45, make my best attempt to ignore SA drivers on the way home, put on my PJs, make some hot cocoa that Luci gave me, and watch a movie with my hubby, if he'll join me.

Bed time: early. That's a must. My right eye twitched so much this morning that I could hardly open it.

It's amazing how much my crappy mood is contagious to my kids. They are UNREAL today. I'm actually relieved to be taking my lunch break alone. I'm thriving on the quiet.

Blogworld, thanks for being listening ears today.

Maybe after my movie tonight, I'll share some of the wonderful things I've been learning. And maybe by then I'll have learned something wonderful about today...

Trusting in Isaiah 40...

John bought me "Where the Sidewalk Ends" for Christmas...

...and today I read parts to my class. They loved it.

For whatever reason, today I REALLY felt like a teacher...