My son and I commute about 30 minutes each way to work...

...and it is consistently some of my favorite time with him. When he was really little, he would often fall asleep in the carseat, and I would thank God that we have such an easy going child. As he got bigger, he would babble to himself, seeming to hold entire conversations with some imaginary being outside the windows. And I would thank God we have such a happy child. A few months ago, he began to demand my attention for his thoughts. He would call, "Mommy! Mommy!" until I answered, "Yes, Jack?" and then he'd declare "truck!!" as though it was the most glorious discovery known to man. And I would thank God for the joy of being this child's Mommy.

He no longer falls asleep on the drive home from school, and our commutes are now filled with constant discussion of what can be seen on the roads around us. My son has grown into a full-blown little boy, obsessed with all things vehicular. I wish I could express this conversation with his sounds, because they add a level of hilarity that is hard to capture in written word. His word for truck is "cuck". School bus sounds more like "coo-buff". He is enamored with tunnels and trains (actually pronounced pretty clearly) and "bidges" (this one can often sound pretty dangerous...) and recently began identifying car carriers, big rigs, and all things construction ("cu-shun"). Any time I point out the word for an unknown item, he excitedly repeats it back to me. His love of learning is addictive and sometimes astounding. But a couple days ago, I was wonderfully struck by something he was teaching me.

If you spend much time in the car with us, you'll quickly pick up on a pattern of conversation. Jack will ask to see a vehicle, perhaps a "coo-buff". (I wonder if he believes I simply conjure up these visions while we drive?). He asks not once, but continually, until I answer. It often goes like this:

J: "school bus? School bus? Mommy, school bus??"
M: "Yes, sweetie. Let's keep watching. Maybe we'll see a school bus!"
J: "School bus? SCHOOL BUS!!!" (One has thankfully been spotted.)
M: "Well done, Jack! You noticed that school bus."
J: "School bus... More School bus?"
M: "Well, let's keep looking. I'm sure we'll see another."
J: "Another school bus? More school bus?"

With just one child, and a God-given amount of patience, I've somehow survived a couple weeks of this constant chatter. But one time last week, after asking to see "more train!" I sighed and responded, "Jack, we just saw a train. Maybe you should be satisfied with what just happened!"

And then I laughed.

I knew immediately that I had many more YEARS of enduring conversations like this. And the only part of it I could truly affect was my own patience. Even more, there was a lot of beauty to be understood in his persistence.

Shouldn't we, if we see something we love, ask to see it MORE? If something delights us, wouldn't we want to experience that feeling all over again?

Isn't this the disappointing aspect of becoming an adult? We've learned to "accept" that good things don't just happen over and over. And so sometimes we grow lazy and neglect to seek them out. This is why we need children in our lives! We need to be reminded to naively keep asking for more.

As I pulled onto East 6th to head to work that morning, these silly thoughts were passing through my mind. In that time, I thanked God for a persistent little boy who believed that asking for more could really produce more. And then, two nights ago, as I'm reading through a book on prayer*, I came to a chapter titled "Become Like a Little Child". When asking our Heavenly Father for anything (and he does say anything) we should consider how a child might ask his earthly father:

"What do they ask for? Everything and anything. If they hear about Disneyland, they want to go there tomorrow.

How often to little children ask? Repeatedly. Over and over again. They wear us out. Sometimes we give in just to shut them up.

How to little children ask? Without guile. They just say what is on their minds. They have no awareness of what is appropriate or inappropriate."

I am so completely encouraged by this thought about prayer. God wants us to come to Him like children, asking anything and everything, with great persistence, and trust that He will care for our needs in the best way possible.

In the last few months, I have been overwhelmed with opportunities to pray for both big, miraculous needs and small, seemingly insignificant requests. This has come from circumstances in my life as well as the many people God has placed in my little circle. I don't think I have come even close to annoying him with my pestering prayer.  But I'm willing to give it a shot. After all, the joy of an answered prayer - even if not answered in a way I expected - is so wonderfully addictive and...well, I've just got to have more.

*Miller, Paul E. A Praying Life. pg 37

Life has changed in many ways...

...and in some ways not at all. Given how confusing that can be, I am so grateful for days like yesterday when I can just rest and soak in all the beautiful moments I get to experience.

In the couple weeks since our "good news appointment", our perspective on the future has drastically shifted. I've gone from dreading the experience of Luke's birth to talking about taking him home soon after delivery. I often can't comprehend the thought that he may not have to be in the NICU. Knowing the fervor with which he has kicked and tumbled inside me these last few days, I am more and more aware of his strength and vitality. Some moments, I almost wish he had less strength! And then I immediately try to retract that thought. :)

I woke up a couple days ago and was suddenly acutely aware that we only have about 11 weeks till we meet this boy. And then all at once, I can't think straight anymore! I've been exhausted, achy, craving sleep, and feeling sore all over. I'm still running a couple times a week, and sometimes I regret it! I've noticed that I've started moving at a snail's pace when trying to accomplish basic tasks. I was 20 minutes late to work today...just because. Because I couldn't move any faster!

And then this Sunday, (as I moved slowly to get ready for bed) I was slammed by the thought that we will soon have TWO children. Stunning thought, really. Not sure how I missed that one! As I considered this reality, I was overwhelmed with thoughts of being...overwhelmed. Jack had required quite a bit of energy this weekend as he struggles with new teeth, or lack of sleep, or just becoming two years old. It was hard to tell. Previously, John and I have been more than happy to offer him whatever energies we have. Now, with another child on the way, those energies will be divided. And I sat Sunday night engulfed in worry. I had to spend a lot of time praying that God would take away those worries. I know from experience that He will provide the necessary strength! But I still had some trouble sleeping that night. What followed next, as though God wrapped a beautiful gift overnight and laid it at my feet, was a day filled with joy and laughter from beginning to end.

Jack and I both got to sleep in, then spent the morning playing before taking our weekly trip to the grocery store. Actually, he hadn't made a grocery run with me in a few weeks, and it was bordering on his lunch hour (I would have left earlier if I hadn't been moving so slowly!) so I was a little worried about how he (okay, we) would survive the outing. In fact, on the first aisle, he was already protesting sitting in the cart. Oh boy. But when I let him walk beside me, I was joyfully surprised at his wonderful behavior. Sure, I know it won't be great all the time, but yesterday he displayed all the beautiful qualities I know he has. The store was nearly empty (note to self...great time to shop!) so I didn't have opportunities to 'take pride' in his behavior as others watched. Instead, I just got to enjoy this delightful gift of fun that God granted me. We went home and had a good lunch, and then my sweet boy took an extra long nap, which allowed me extra time at the gym (the Hubs works from home...awesome!). That evening, we played outside and had a sweet, delicious family dinner. More playing and laughter, then it was time for bed.

I know this sounds like a lot of bragging about my perfect life. I can trust that you've read my blogs before and know my life isn't perfect. What I mean to convey is the beauty that was found in a single day. I also can't shake the thought that I was intensely wrapped up in my son's activities yesterday and found a great deal of peace and comfort in him. And I know that peace and comfort was a sweet blessing from God. He was reminding me to take pleasure in the gifts He has already laid at my feet. He was comforting me after a few days of battling my son's wacky emotions. He was telling me that He takes joy in my obedience and talents and personality just as I do with my own child. He was telling me He loves me.

Despite all of yesterday's awesomeness, I woke this morning after a fairly sleepless night and felt completely worn down. Remember how I was 20 minutes late to work? Yeah, the entire day felt like sloth central. But what kept me moving forward and helped me to actually be productive on this Sleepy Tuesday was the memory of my Glorious Monday. Isn't this how we should live continually? Shouldn't we meditate on God's works and trust His plan? From each day to the next, this is my constant striving.

So my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed.

I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works

and consider what your hands have done.

I spread out my hands to you;I thirst for you like a parched land.

...Show me the way I should go, for I entrust you my life.

Psalm 143:4-6, 8b