Next week...

...is the last week of school. Here's what I'm thinking:

*I'm really going to miss this semester. I've thoroughly enjoyed my classes. I've loved my new friends. It was my first full semester being married, and we're learning a lot which can be an absolute blast.

*While I'm looking for a new, permanent job, I've been offered summer positions by two TAs in my department. They both have 9 month old daughters. I'm wondering if I might be bored after having had three children. But the offers are a blessing from God. And both TAs are wonderful women. I'm glad for the opportunity.

*On the other hand, my current job has yet to look like it will end soon. Michelle is not yet through at work, which means they haven't yet put the house up for sale. That could start as early as one week from monday, but who knows, then, how long it might take. That's both good and bad. While I've got the summer time to start looking for a new job, I'm not yet willing to leave the old. My loyalty is stretching me right now through all the "not yets".

*God's been shoving a word into my heart a LOT recently: futility. Wow, not a fun word to deal with. Not in the essence of the earthly definition. But it truly has been an exciting experience to have to come to the understanding that everything we do is ridiculous, unless we have a relationship with Christ and know His purpose with our daily lives. So much of what I have been working for recently has become a complete disaster. Futility. The word echoes in my head. Then Christ calls me back and urges me to refocus.

*The biggest idea that I'm learning from marriage is that God really did a wonder to sucker an independent spirit like me into such a non-independent role. From simple things like, "it's summer and I've got plans, but wait, I need to check with my husband about what he wants" to "wow, God is really convicting me about the futility of my actions, and I'd like to turn a 180 in my life. But wait, I need to think about my husband's heart as well." It's been a very humbling experience. It's forcing me to be much more considerate of...other people? Maybe. Definitely of John. And also of God. I'm seeing that I all too often will go my own way and assume it's what God wants. And maybe it is. But I didn't ask him first. So he gave me John in human form to graciously show me that I can't live independently here on this earth. Oh, and how I praise God that I don't have to go it alone, without Him or the human-love of John.

*On one last note...Sheryl Crow has breast cancer. Which prompts me to ask, "Who DOESN'T know about 50 women who have or have had breast cancer?" Which then prompts me to say, "Ladies, if you're not checking up on your health, you might as well ask for the worst. Don't be stupid. Don't be scared of doctors. Just take care of the bodies God gave you." Cuz that's what my mama taught me.

Until later, my friends...if I ask you not to talk too loudly, it's because my head is imploding (interestingly enough, I found out that "imploding" is not a true word). No, it's not from exams or papers or looking for a new job. It's because I'm trying to kick the coffee habit I unfortunately acquired this semester, and allergies in Austin are a precursor to Hell.

Finally...Happy Birthday-Happy-Hour to Erin, today!

I'm eating my breakfast and peer-editing a paper...

...just having a quiet time in my bleeding-IKEA apartment. Then I hear a loud thud-like noise outside my window. Now, you have to know about the chair I'm sitting in. It's this great comfy chair with an ottoman, that we've angled into the corner of the living room where there are two windows. One window is the customary window thrown into the one-bedroom apartment to distract the tenant from the itty-bitty size of the unit. The second window is really a door that opens to our porch, or what we lovingly term our "backyard". It has grass and everything.
So, I'm sitting in my chair, surrounded by windows that have OPEN BLINDS. I'm still in my PJs, just eating breakfast and grading papers, and I hear this thud. I look out on my porch and see that a ladder has just been set against my third floor balcony. Now, my first thought it that I'm in a modern-day fairy tale, and John-my-prince is coming to rescue me from the onslaught of work that I don't want to confront. My second thought was that I was in a modern-day CSI, and I was about to be grossly kidnapped as the opening scene to Special Victims Unit. My third thought was more rational: our complex is repainting the buildings' siding and railings. I'm thinking that today is unit 17's treatment day.
So I shut my blinds and turned back to my papers and Corn Pops. But I'm still wishing that my first thought could come true. How great would that be?

I finished my midterm paper...

...at just 2 minutes to midnight. I don't know what it is that's so satisfying about knowing you finished a paper at night and not in the a.m.

It's probably not that great of a paper. But aside from revising it and turning it in as a final paper, I've only got 3 exams and a few short papers left.

I've got summeritis already. Someone help me!

Praise the Lord for one more thing accomplished. He is faithful to provide, no?

You can tell the state of my mind...

...by the state of my room. Or my apartment, now that I can claim that much residential space. It goes the other way as well. If my room is messy, then I might be too busy or stressed to be keeping it clean. Or if my room is messy, then it's probably stressing me out, so I'll soon drop everything to put it back in order before I can work again. ORRRR, if my room is clean, it makes me feel happy and organized and I'm probably thinking that I'm on the road to "getting it all together". So, the state of my mind resembles the state of my space. Oh yeah, you could probably include my car in that picture. Or my backpack.

Okay, there are a few things you should know:

* I've already recognized that I am capable of taking this quality in me to obsessive-compulsive or agravatingly-anal lengths. But I am always taking steps to avoid any meltdown in the future. I can leave dishes in the sink, not make my bed, have clothes on the floor or papers piled up on the desk. Many of you who see my place may never witness such things, and even those who see it will say, "Oh, this is nothing like my place!" Sure, it's probably not. But I don't care about your place.

* Though I like my own space in order, I could never judge someone else's. With the exception of my husband (thank you, Lord!!), I've only ever lived with CERTIFIABLY messy people. Becky, back me up on this. You'll admit it. But did I bother you about it? NO! You'd always apologize for your mess, which was a habit of growing up, but I would say, "Whatever, Becky. You're crazy." Well, maybe not crazy. Just wasting time by worrying about whether I am bothered by your room. I'm not. I'm selfish enough to only care about how I keep my own space. What you do with yours is only your business. To each his own, I say! (necessary disclosure: previous statement is in regards to this particular discussion only. In no way do I endorse the actions of all men based on their own desires. That's just bad sense. Also, Becky was not really that messy. Adrienne had her beat by a mile and the previous tenants of our apartment were close in the running.)

* I grew up with a clean mom. She's occasionally been refered to as the "tasmanian devil" of house/yard work. I am grateful to have maintained some of those genes.

* BE ADVISED: I am not ashamed of my desire to be clean. But I can say that if you ever declare that I must be judgemental towards so-called "dirty" individuals, well, I might just get crazy on your...behind! Especially if my house is already in disarray.

All this said, my apartment is currently a little crazy. As mentioned before, we're in the midst of the end of the semester, though I can joyfully say that I've put one week behind me and only have about 3 more. Huzzah! In my study breaks, I'm rearranging house. Because after a year and a half of living with hodge-podge, crazy-no-matching, inefficient furniture, John and I have saved money to make a trip to IKEA.

My mind is ecstatic with the thoughts of organization.

In the next 3.5 weeks...

...I have 2 exams (no longer 3, as I just finished one) and 8 major papers. This could be daunting...

...okay, it is. But I was also reminded that we've only got 5 weeks of school left. So the next 3 to 5 weeks will be like that tough weekend when you just buckle down, face first in the books and don't look up till it's VACATION time! I know, 5 weeks is a long "weekend", but this part of the year happens to every student, so I can't really complain. Plus, when you've been doing this at the college level for 4 years, you've got to feel that you've improved upon the process a little. Right?

If you don't see or hear from me in the next few weeks...oh goodness, what am I saying? I'm not one of those who can actually concentrate solely on school. So you'll see me. And you'll hear from me. If you'd like to join me for a brisk walk on Town Lake or a coffee at Mozart's in the middle of a Saturday afternoon, let me know. I'll be on "study breaks."

Cuz that's what I do best.


What have you, my fellow bloggers or readers, learned from school about your work habits?