Two times in one day...

...I was confronted with my concept of safety, and I sort of felt like I lost.

This afternoon, I walked into the room of a teenage boy who, just the night before, had been dropped off in the ER by his friends after they'd found him unconcious from an overdose of alcohol, marijuana and some prescription drugs. As I introduced myself and talked with him, I was aware of the police officers down the hallway and the restraints (already used once that morning) laying on the floor. He made little eye contact, which did nothing to calm me, though I saw the slightest glimpse of a smile as I made light conversation during our visit. This is not the first time I've experienced some trepidation on the job, but I still feel very safe, and this afternoon's experience made little impact.

Until this evening...

This evening, John and I left church and headed to dinner with friends. We were stopped at a light, when I noticed a particularly intrusive homeless man. You know, the kind who stares at you and steps too closely to the car? I saw him sit on the hood of the car in front of us, which was odd, but I thought maybe it was a friend. (I know, I know) Then he came to our car, stood in front of us and peered into our windshield. When John waved him away and attempted to pull around, he stepped in front of us again and then began banging the car with his fist and yelling at neighboring cars to call the police because we'd hurt his leg. He continued to yell, bang and wave after the light had turned green, so John laid on the horn. The man seemed to think this was an invitation to come to the door, which was scary enough, but thankfully, it gave John the chance to drive away. (The man continued to bang on the car and yell as we drove off) We pulled into the parking lot where we were meeting friends, I cried a little and tried to stop shaking and then John called the police. Only the second time this year that I've called 311 (okay, the first time was to report serious debris on the road...I'm just a good citizen), but once again I felt better after I did.

I'm glad to be in my bed right now. Safe with John and comfy under the sheets. I put a romantic comedy on the television just to lighten the mood, and I'm praying thanks that my God is sufficient to meet all my needs...I'm glad He is my stronghold and fortress and He watches over my steps.

I've got stuff on my mind...

...but lack the time to elaborate. Aren't you lucky?

These are thoughts I would have written about last week, if I'd had the time:

*Man w/big cross
*teaching blind HS students how to row - together
*the fact that I might be rowing a 4K in about a month
*going to bed at midnight and waking at 5: all week long
*my new drink: Venti Iced Nonfat Cinnamon Dulce Latte w/an Edge, no Whip
*paying money to have no time for anything but being a peon
*growing up thinking that peon had something to do with “pee-on”
*still thinking that peon has something to do with “pee-on”
*validation…finally!
*my friend, Jefra, and how wonderful she is
*my friend, Anya, and how much I love her
*my 18 year old cousin-in-law having a baby this month
*That I miss my husband and I’m glad we get to drive home together: it’s the only time we’ve had this week (okay, that's the thought I had last week, though it's still pretty true. We need some fun time!)
*That I wish I had more time at my job, and I’m excited about our new director
*that my supervisor is not excited about our new director, and I’m praying to know how to love her
*When I write my day’s schedule on a sticky note, stick it to my purse and realize that it dictates a 14-hour day (not including shower and driving time)…I might be in trouble
*That I don’t get paid enough for my job
*I never realized that I’m a “yes-person” until recently
*I’m glad I had my sister to rant to the other day; though I don’t think I realized just how hurt and angry I am
*That I love my husband, even when he’s too excited to hang out with me that he can’t let me fall asleep
*I think I’ve always known how great my parents are, but I’m really thrilled at how they are turning out, and how they’re growing me
*that at a distance, when those two light fixtures near Starbucks look like men bending over, then it may just be two men bending over (it was; they were gardening)

This week I was going to tell a story about how, for the second time this year - and in my life - I had liquid come out my nose. On Saturday night, at Hula Hut with friends, I managed to laugh with water in my mouth, choke severely, and throw up. Amazingly, only Kelly noticed (Clayton just thought water came out my nose, which was true). I'm just sad that John wasn't there to hold my hand. But he enjoyed his SXSW show with Robert Rodriguez. And he held my hand later.

This week is significantly different from last. It's spring break here in Austin, but I'm still in school (except for those 3 hours of class on Wednesday). However, I've never seemed to do the spring break thing, and I'm just enjoying the weather and the time to make up hours at work and the internship. I'm able to spend time with friends - like having lunch with my teacher friend, Amy, before she goes on vacation. We're getting into a good groove w/life as it is right now.

I'm learning a lot. I like that.

I smiled so much yesterday...

...that my jaw hurt, and I had a headache. Actually, the headache could have been caffeine induced. I miss my Nonfat Iced Cinnamon Dulce Latte no Whip, w/an edge (an extra shot for you non-coffee buffs).

It's been a LOOOONNNGGGG week. Hence the coffee. My research deadline threatened to kill me, or at least make me crazy. In a desperate, teary-eyed attempt for help, I pleaded an extension and was offered one week. Awesome. I slept more than 5 hours yesterday night.

I'm listening to the sounds of Sean Watkins and gazing out the window to the sunny and windy skies. I can't help but marvel at God's grace.

I have a job that I love. It exhausts me, but every day is this glorious challenge to love on people and accept how much I can't do that on my own.

I love my internship, though am scared to realize how much I still have to learn before they'll let me "go".

I love my friends. They hold me accountable, whether they know that or not, to loving Christ. People have come and gone in my life, but God continues to build my friendships at the present time to be something that I will never take for granted.

I love my husband. He's been a constant support this year. Last year ended in an exhausted heap, and I was afraid I wouldn't heal from it. But John is constant with me. He is God's mercy and love to me. He takes me with my flaws and judgment and lack of faith. I am continually astounded by his adoration.

Despite the things I love here in Austin, I'm floored by God's gift to let us move soon. It's only the second letter, but this one said "Yes". John was accepted to St. Mary's School of Law in San Antonio! If no where else works out, we're thrilled to be near family (we have great friends and cousins in the city) and on our way to great adventures.

I smiled so much yesterday that it hurt my face. At work, it's bittersweet; my coworkers congratulated me, but then realized that I'll be gone. I'm sad to miss out on the opportunity to watch this group move to a new hospital and learn from a new director to build a larger program. But I'm hopeful that this is not the last time I'll work with these women. Even so, all that God has brought me has been greater than what was before.

So, to God, who can and is doing what is greater than I could even ask or think...may He be glorified.