If I keep this up...

...I'll never get any work done.

John's working tonight. I got stir crazy trying to work in the apartment. So I gathered my computer, papers, and more papers. I made my way to the Galaxy Cafe just down the road. I forgot it's Saturday, so there's a live jazz band. No biggie...it'll go well with my soup and coffee.

I consider calling Shelly so that I can enjoy the food and music with a friend. She doesn't answer, but that's okay. I should be working on my research project.

That's when I realize that I've left the DVDs at home. In order to code the research videos, I sort of need to HAVE the research videos.

So now I'm just passing some time until I finish my coffee.

And then it's back home. Where it's dark...and boring...and I don't have a desk anymore. (Moving sucks)

Maybe I'll sit on the porch to work. Wait, we don't have the porch chairs either. Darn that moving...

So, maybe I'll call it a night? I somehow got nothing done today.

I've got to get something done.

I pray that one day the angels will rejoice...

...when my dear friend Anya finds her true savior.

I'm having a meal with Anya this week. It's been several weeks since we saw each other, and I've been praying earnestly for strength, wisdom and love.

I've always prayed for her. From the moment I met her four and a half years before.

My friend, Adrienne, has been my accountability since the last time An and I had breakfast. It's been challenging, heartbreaking, scary, and freeing.

Who am I afraid of? I am certain of God's sovereignty in my relationship with this wonderful woman. What do I fear?

Well...a lot, really. Pray for us. I know God longs for her even more than I do. I know He doesn't need me in this situation, but He'll use me anyway.

God, I'm scared. But I love her.

God, let me love her.

Tonight, I experienced my first migraine...

...and I'll gladly never do it again.

I'm not unfamiliar with nausea. I've had chemo. I know when my body is rejecting my stomach.

This wasn't nausea. My stomach was fine. But I wasn't ready for a headache that crossed my eyes and made my noggin wobble back and forth with confusion.

I clocked out of work. I got to the shuttle. I arrived at the parking lot and my car. 20 minutes later, I pulled onto my street. I made it into the apartment lot. My building was in sight, but I couldn't go further.

Now I know what's it's like to screech to a stop off the side of the road, lean out the car (with the engine still running), and heave the day's meals onto the ground beside my door.

I also know what it's like to have vomit come out my nose.

That was a new one.

I think the worst is over. I think I'm ready for bed.

We're under a Code Ice at the hospital today...

...which is why I'm not going to work. See, I'm still a PRN employee according to the books. Technically, I'm a sub. Since bureaucracy is slow and my status has not been changed to part-time, I'm not required to be at the hospital to work a 12 hour shift. During Code Ice, all PT and FT employees must serve one 12-hr shift each day. I was supposed to cover a 4 hr shift on Wednesday, but in case I don't want to miss my class on Wednesday afternoon, I'm not going to work then, either. If you're worried, it's okay. My supervisor approved my absense. She told me I'm lucky. :)

I can't say I agree.

You see, I had to get out of the house. Ehem, apartment! Which is worse. It's much harder to hang around a barely 700 sq. ft. apartment on an "ice day" and not get cramped.

So I went down the block to Galaxy Cafe for a cup of soup and a vanilla coffee. I'm trying to work on research videos, but I forgot a certain important packet of information. In the meantime, I'm doing the part of the work that I'm able.

But see, there's a problem.

The cafe is usually slow at this hour. Today, others must have ventured out of cramped homes for a good meal.

Including an overly-(overtly?)-affectionate couple in their late 40s.

She's in his lap (yes, it's true), he's rubbing her thighs, she nuzzles his neck, he caresses her face. And then they make-out.

And I vomit.

Don't get me wrong. I'm glad that they are an affectionate couple. I love that people show their love to others. And I don't have a problem with their age. (well, maybe just a little) However, if they were teenagers, I'd at least have the guts to tell them to take it outside.

But, come on! She's ON HIS LAP.

If they want to sit that close, they can get a booth.

I know I'd gladly give up mine.

Two friends saw a need...

...and they filled it.

Today I sat in an apartment study with 3 former UT rowing teammates, my beloved coach and two new friends.

We talked about goals, schedules, activities, the kids, and more.

We chatted a bit about what's gone on in our lives since we'd seen each other last (over three years ago).

It was good to be with them again. Even more, it's good to work with them again.

Beginning tomorrow, we will embark on something new for all of us. Beginning tomorrow, we will learn what it takes to coach blind or visually impaired teens in the sport of rowing.

We hope to have a full team by next fall. We will gain sponsors, members, exposure and support.

We will also gain confidence, friendship, unbeatable experiences and strength.

I'm beyond excited to be on the water again. I'm thrilled to introduce others to this fantastic opportunity. I'm proud of my friends.

I'm really honored that God's invited me along for this ride.

Item Number 132...

...on the list of Things I've Learned At My New Job:

Part of my job description is to "train, orient, supervise, motivate and support the volunteers". I've met most of the volunteers so far, and about 90% of them are older than me. More than that, about 50% of those older than me are at least 15 years older than me. Add to that the notion that the volunteers have been volunteering weekly for months and years longer than I've been at this job. Can you see where I'm going with this?

Mom told me recently that I've often had less patience for adults than I do for children. I recognize the emotional, social and psychological limitations of the infant, adolescent, or teen, but I don't offer as much grace to adults.

I see what she means.

So how do I "motivate" these adults to do a job they VOLUNTEERED to do, when I expect that they ought to do it anyway? It's a tiring day when I spend time encouraging a sick child to take a walk or play a game then I have to encourage an adult to be active within the playroom, instead of sitting at the computer checking his email.

I've begun asking my volunteers WHY they're taking time to be at the hospital. I've heard some earnest answers ("my nephew passed away 5 years ago, and I wanted to be involved in the community that served him so well during his last 2 years"; My sisters were sick a lot as kids, and I've always wanted to work in the hospital") but I've also gotten those indirect answers ("I've been doing this for 6 years" or "well, yeah...should I go get some of the dirty toys?").

What I've learned is that I'm not yet great at motivating all of my volunteers. First, I have to get past the fact that I am expected to lead people with more experience than myself. Then I have to realize that some of them have gotten into a groove (that I don't care for), and it's hard to get out of a deep groove. Sometimes I just feel stuck.

Thankfully, my coworker and I are experiencing the same frustration, and we often take time to commiserate and then encourage one another. I think, with time and experience, we'll figure it out.

In the meantime, I still get frustrated with adults. :) But I'm learning.