I am absolutely, without a doubt...

...a social Christian. Please do not think I mean to say that I am only a Christian when it is socially-acceptable. What I say is is that I am spurred on in my Christian walk not by intense moments of personal revelations shared only with Jesus or by hours of silent, private prayer and meditation. Instead, I am moved to a life that pursues my Savior when I am invited to share this joy with others. I am not a private Christian. I am a social, external, extroverted Christian.

So, I must admit (and this is, after all, the first step...) that I have not been pursuing Jesus actively, or at the very least successfully, for over 18 months. And that, my sweet sister Beth, is what is bothering me. Even in the small, wonderful gesture of your concern, I feel more invigorated to reach out for healing.

In recent weeks, I have found myself very blessed by two lovely coworkers who attend a small church near my workplace. When I say small, there is one service at 10 am that serves about 150 adults. It is a mixed group, and the pastor is a youthful married man with 2 (almost 3) children. The music team is always filled with young girls and guys, and they appear full of talent and energy. It is the first place I have felt very comfortable to seek out a home.

As the pastor was finishing up last Sunday, I realized that my attentions had not waned for a moment. In fact, my eyes were so glued to his face that I was nearly unaware when my friend had returned to sit by me. Like a starving child being offered bread and milk, would you dare turn away for a second?

Recently, I have reminisced about the joys and excitement of college, and even longed to return to those days. In reality, I appreciate where I am now. I enjoy my marriage, our life here in San Antonio, and the many wonderful events that have taken place in the last 2 years. What I am really longing for is the return of a relationship I didn't have the strength to hold on to. I am grateful to know that the father saw the prodigal son from a long ways away because he was looking for him. And while I don't feel I have (as did the prodigal son) wished my parents dead and squandered my inheritance, I do long to return to my home and celebrate once again with my Father.