...I feel ill-equipped and useless. I feel that I'm in a period of waiting, and though there are many, many periods like this in life, (and I have endured them many times before) I don't feel that I am successfully living through it. I think that's why I feel that 18 months have gone by, and yet nothing has happened.
While I know that I'm not terribly foolish, I am fairly well-equipped for life, and I am not entirely useless, I have a hard time communicating that to my heart. I know that I actually have accomplished much in the last year and a half.
Sometimes feelings, though, beat out knowledge. What really stinks the most is that I've spent most of my life as a "thinker" and not a "feeler".
What gives?
6 comments:
Pamela,
I know where you are coming from -- sometimes it is though you can never reach your desired destination. To top it all off, God shuts doors you think ought to be open and understanding is just beyond your fingertips.
I want to pass along my great wisdom to you now, grasshopper. It is far, far better to be young and foolish than to be an old fool, no matter how you couch it. You can't turn back the hands of time, so enjoy it while you can.
Dear My Running Buddy!!
If I recall correctly you started and stuck to a training schedule that got you all the way to the finish line of your very first 1/2 marathon!! I just wanted to remind you of one of your many accomplishments for 2008!! In case I haven't said it recently I'm proud of that and you should be too!! Keep your head up, this too will pass and you will be able to see clearly soon!! Love you!!
Pammie Lambie,
You may be a thinker, but you're kinda soundin like a stinker. Here's my motivational speech, structured in the format of the great and wise Dwight Schrute.
Fact: 18 months is only 6% of all that you’ve lived.
Fact: 18 months is a spec in eternity
Fact: All that you’ve accomplished in 18 months would take up more than 6% of this paper to document
Fact: Time is meaningless to God. 18 months is 0.15% of a day to God (II Pet 3:8)
Fact: All that you’ve accomplished has not been on your own (Phil. 4:13)
Fact: All that you tried to accomplish on your own you probably fell short or screwed up (Prov. 16:3, 16:9)
Fact: All that you accomplish in obedience to God leads to success (Josh 1:8)
Fact: Fact: What you perceive as failure or lack of accomplishment, God views differently (Rom. 8:28)
Fact: You are never alone. (Deut. 31:6)
Fact: You were created for good works; walk in them (Eph. 2:10)
Fact: I love you only a fraction of how much God does and I have trouble containing it. Imagine how God feels!
Fact: I love you more in this fact than the last.
Fact: I’m out of control and must stop!!!!!!
Love, Dad
Now for some entertaining facts about and from Dwight:
Fact: Dwight Schrute made an entire jacket out of cat fur and whiskers
Fact: Dwight Schrute can impregnate a women by sneezing.
Fact: Dwight Schrute killed a cat with his barehands in a freezer
Fact: Dwight Schrute can raise and lower his cholesterol at will
Fact: Dwight Schrute has the strength of a grown man and a little baby
Fact: Dwight Schrute will put a bullet in your brain... courtesy of Butch Cassidy!
Fact: Dwight Schrute is too strong for your language, he has his own. A language of grunts called Schrutanese.
Fact: Dwight Schrute can travel anywhere in the world, except for Cuba.
Fact: Dwight Schrute ran around the entire world so fast when he got around he punched himself in the back of the head.
Fact: Dwight Schrute is not afraid of speaking to his underlings.
Fact: Dwight Schrute wears glasses
Fact: Dwight Schrute only wears said glasses to protect his superhuman eyes from mosquitoes while running and not due to any eye disease or deficiency, because he has none.
Fact: Dwight Schrute is co-owner of Hotel Hell.
Fact: Dwight Schrute was salesman of the month 13 out of the last 12 months.
Fact: Dwight doesn't know a single thing about bear attacks. He knows everything about bear attacks.
Fact: Dwight Schrute has counted to infinity, twice.
Fact: Dwight Schrute does not get frost bite. Dwight Schrute bites frost.
Fact: When the boogieman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Dwight Schrute.
Fact: Dwight Schrute owns the Tux his Grandfather was buried in.
Fact: Dwight Schrute can bench press 300 lbs
Fact: There is no theory of evolution... just a list of creatures Dwight Schrute hasn't yet hunted into extinction.
Fact: Dwight Schrute has never been sick a day in his life.
Fact: There is no CTRL button on Dwight Schrute's computer. Dwight Schrute is always in control.
Fact: Dwight Schrute shot a werewolf once, but by the time he got to it, it had turned back into his neighbor's dog.
Fact: Dwight Schrute can punch you in the back of the face.
Fact: Dwight Schrute knows the last digit of pi.
Fact: Dwight Schrute did not become a Lackawanna County volunteer sheriff's deputy to make friends
FACT: Dwight Schrute absorbed his own twin in his mother’s womb.
This is what happens when I tell your Dad that he should read your blog. He's so over the top.
Dignan:
Fact: I can talk to Mr. Henry and get you a job.
Fact: These guys will want us to help them pull a bigger job a the meat packing plant.
Fact: This picture will help you....
Anthony: FACT, Dignan. The picture isn't doing it for me right now.
Dignan: Well, is the fact that I'm trying to do it for you doin' it for you?
I think the fact that your dad was tryin' to do it for you should do it for you...
Question: Why do you feel foolish and young?
Fact: I know you ARE WISE and YOUNG.
Nuff said.
Heart you, Mishy
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