This list I gaze at is missing dozens of names I'll never know. It is longer than I ever deserved. And though it overwhelms me, I find an immeasurable joy in its existence.
A few months ago, my coworkers threw a simple but generous baby shower for our family. We received diapers and wipes, a few clothing items and many gift cards to use as we might find the need. Not knowing Luke's needs at the time, the gifts were, and still are, perfect. A couple weeks later, my mom and sister 'hosted' a virtual baby shower, asking friends and family to mail them items or gift cards to package together and deliver to me. The weekend before Luke was born, John and I opened card after card with kind notes and incredibly generous donations. We are still wrought speechless when we consider that day. Cards and gifts continue to arrive at our home, making the trip to the mailbox more enjoyable. We often receive a hospital bill and a sweet gift at the same time and are humbled at God's provision. My sister set up a calendar in which people have signed up to bring us dinner or watch Jack for us while we spend some quiet time with Luke. Our bellies and our hearts are full! Last week, I went to the grocery store for the first time since Luke was born (and I used a gift card to pay for the food)! Then, a few days ago, a friend asked if she could start an online fundraising site for us, and in a week, nearly three thousand dollars has been gifted to our family. I don't even recognize some of the names of the donors, and I am in awe of the friends in my community who give of what I know to be limited funds.
I started a Thank You List after the first baby shower and now find that list to be spinning out of control. Each day, I write a letter, type an email, send a text or make a phone call to say Thank You and yet I am still ridiculously behind in expressing our gratitude. Sometimes lists can feel like a burden. But this one reaffirms my joy and humility each time I consider it. When someone I have never met offers to financially care for us, I know that Luke's life has been a comfort to another. When a friend who has little gives us much, I know that God has moved in her heart to sacrifice out of love. That single thought brings me heart-bursting joy. When I think upon how much we have been given that I know we do not deserve more than any other family...I am humbled beyond words. It is truly intimidating to consider what God expects of us in this time. He has placed us in such a vulnerable position of being known and loved by many. When I ponder what He has planned for our future, there is no picture in my mind. But I feel a weight of grandness. I know that He will ask us someday to give ridiculously as others have given to us.
To those who read this journal and share it with others, please let me speak directly to you for a moment. Know that when I do, I picture your faces, I save your letters, emails, facebook messages, and texts. I do not write to a general population. I know your names and think of you often. Words will never fully convey our gratefulness. I might try desperately to repay your kindness in some way, but will fail miserably. I pray earnestly each day that you understand just how influential your gifts are. John and I spent six weeks in the NICU, experiencing a great deal of time with people who were once strangers but are now friends. As we have shared anecdotes of how our community has supported us, many of our nursing and medical staff responded in awe. When I told them of a coworker who babysat my son for 4 hours and then gave me money for dinner, mouths literally dropped open. When I explained how a combination of family members had footed my entire maternity bill, I swear I saw someone get teary-eyed. Time after time, we have been told that our reactions to procedures, events, and the general experience of this time have been markedly different from the average NICU parent. And we continue to tell them that we have a community that lifts us up in prayer daily. And we have a God who is sovereign and good.
My list continues to grow, and I will certainly fail to acknowledge each of your gifts in a time or fashion that Emily Post would deem appropriate. But I will still strive to say Thanks to each one of you. Until then, know that your kindness and care has traveled far beyond you. It holds us up and spurs us forward. It impacts those we are with each day. It is powerful.
'For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.' Then the righteous will answer him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?' And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.' - Matthew 25:35-40
1 comment:
Beautiful.
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