...so that you can understand just a bit of how God blows my mind.
John's last guaranteed paycheck was deposited today. His contract work has been coming in very slowly, and we don't anticipate payment for another 2 months. Meanwhile, I have paid 2 separate Ob/Gyns for my maternity care (I had to switch doctors mid-way, due to changing hospitals), and I haven't received reimbursement from the 1st doc. I got a call yesterday from the hospital telling me the estimate for our upcoming delivery and asking if I would like to make a payment towards it. (Um, no. But thanks.) And my paycheck will be significantly less now that I am also carrying John on my insurance.
That paints a decent picture, right? All the while, John is in interviews for a new position that would be perfect. But we have no idea what it will pay. They know what John has requested to earn, but have not disclosed what they are willing to spend. So we wait.
In all of this, God has given me an overwhelming peace. And by overwhelming, I mean that I am so completely unfazed by all of this that I sometimes wonder if I'm crazy. How could this not stress me out?! This is why I know my peace is Heaven-sent. Because it is ridiculous.
So...today I was at my end-of-year staff celebration party at work. As part of the event, some gift cards were raffled off. I never win raffles. Or Bingo, for that matter. I just don't live with that luck. But today I did! I won a gift card to a smoothie business nearby our school. And then, I was given a great gift of cash as a last-minute donation towards our medical bills with Luke. It was a complete surprise and melted my heart. My coworkers had already thrown me a baby shower couple weeks before and blessed our family with diapers, clothes and a generous amount of gift cards. To receive this extra gift was overwhelming.
Sitting there with the gift card and cash, I decided to give the gift card to a friend who loves that smoothie place. I knew it would make her smile, and I just felt that I had been given so much already.
That afternoon we also learned that a family from our school had lost their mother last night to cancer. She had been fighting for a long time and left behind three little children that we have known for many years. Our staff had supported this family in so many ways and were hoping to gather some money to help pay for services and medical bills. As I opened my envelope of newly-gifted cash, I knew that I needed to give it away.
I stood there in the room and asked God, "Is this foolish? We will need this money. This is a great gift, and I don't want to be crazy and just give it away." And I heard Him answer, "It's not yours to keep. I will provide."
Without any worry at all (again, God's ridiculous provision), I handed the bills over to our friend collecting money. And I knew we would be okay. It was right to care for this family in need.
When I got home, I sat down and told John about our afternoon party and how our school had once again chosen to bless us with a sweet gift. He was obviously grateful. And then I told him that I gave it away. He just smiled and said, "okay." I knew he understood. So I got up to get the mail.
Unlike most days, this mail had no ads or magazines. It contained four personal letters. Inside two of those letters were checks with beautiful notes about how we are loved and prayed for. As I read the letters out loud to John, I was crying. The realization hit me so hard that God was so quick today to teach me about His provision. He asked me to give away two financial gifts today because He knew He was providing two more that afternoon. He asked me to have faith. And then He gave me the faith to rest in Him.
I have already said thanks to these dear people who are faithfully giving away much-needed and hard-earned money in order to be a part of God's amazing story. What a staggering gift to live in His care.
That was my mini-miracle today. And I just had to share it with you. We are living amongst daily miracles. Do you see them?
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